Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
