I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
