can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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