yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
