My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
