i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
