Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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