i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize