just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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