Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize