I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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