Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
