Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
