Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
