It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
