Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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