there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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