Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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