did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
