i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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