so explain again why im purple
no
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
