I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
