You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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