Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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