ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
