I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
