I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
