I think I am morally bankrupt
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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