call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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