Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
