I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
