..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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