You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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