What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
