I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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