he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
