She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
