How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
