Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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