Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You don't make any sense
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