"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
