Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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