It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
