I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
