I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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