you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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