I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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