Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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