what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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