If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
