And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
