your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
