why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize