It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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