I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize