Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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