chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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