I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
