the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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