please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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