Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
