these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
