i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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