I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
