We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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