I bet he comes in French.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
