i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
